A Year of Living From My Soul

On the night of my birthday last week, I had a dream. In that dream, I was walking my dog through the woods, something that I regularly do. It was raining and the autumn colors were at peak, the leaves like crimson, orange and gold fireworks. All the colors looked even more intense with the rain, as they do. There was a quietness and stillness in the woods, a hush that means sacred space to me. It was magical.

In my dream, an angel came down through the mist and the rain and hovered right over my head. Angels almost never look like people to me, they look like columns of light or sometimes wheels of energy. This one was a spinning pinwheel of energy, peacock colored and gold. Sparks, and flames and feathers all in a kaleidoscopic mix. This kind of thing happens to me a lot so I was not fazed at all. Of course there was an angel there, it was that kind of dream.

The angel told me that I had a new assignment, should I care to accept it. It said something like this…

“Dear One, your new assignment is to spend the next year, your 49th year, living in a new way. It will be a year of living from your own soul.”

“It’s time to level up,” the angel said. “Time to put your money where your mouth is. Time for the rubber to meet the road. You are going into the next phase of your life that will be about teaching, spreading your word and your knowledge through a bigger and bigger group of people, but you are only going to be able to do it if you LIVE it first. Or else you won’t have the strength, experience and street cred for it. As a Teacher, you have to LIVE it so you can really teach it.”

Angels talk like this, at least mine do.

I knew it was a dream since if this had happened in real life, I would have rolled my eyes and complained. “What again? What is it now? You guys are always asking me to do something really hard!”

But in the dream, there was no complaining- just this intense feeling of joy, love and bliss. I heard a loud crack and felt something like a shell peel off me. I felt like a lobster stepping out of the shell. And what came out of the shell was ME but soft- like liquid light.

Radiant. HUGE. Joyful.

I think it was my soul.

And then I forgot about that dream. I got caught up in my busy, crazy life and just carried on.

Until TODAY, when that dream actually happened. This afternoon, I was actually walking my dog alone in the rain and I got that spot in the woods when BAM, I remembered the dream and what happened.

The angel were there again, in real life rather then in just my dream space, which wasn’t too surprising, since I often connect to my guides when I walk in the woods. And today, I got my new marching orders.

This year, my 49th year, my challenge is to live as authentically as I possibly can. I know that sounds like a New Age buzz word, but I got it at a deeper level and what that means for me. This year I am going to go through the chakras, as I always do when I am teaching in the Rhys Thomas Institute of Energy Medicine (This is my eighth year teaching. Wow!) and at each chakra I am going to live from my gut, from my SOUL and follow my inner guidance on everything that I can.

That sounds all groovy and cool and stuff, but honestly it’s HARD and rather scared the pants off me. I could FEEL how out of my comfort zone that was going to push me. If I accept this mission, I am going to actually have to DO all the stuff that I feel called to do rather then just carry on autopilot.

What if my soul has some crazy ideas? It’s all going to be about changing, taking risks, doing new things, letting go of some old things. Basically upsetting the apple cart at every turn.

I could already feel how my own soul was going to lead me. I think it’s going have me contract in certain areas of my life and also simultaneously push me out into the world bigger then ever. So what would it be like to completely surrender to my own inner knowing?

Ask yourself this, how would you feel and who would you be if you actually said YES to all your inner guidance? You know, the one that tells you to get divorced. Perhaps it tell you to quit your job. Or move to Cali. Maybe all three! What if your deepest inner knowing says to stop being a corporate lawyer and start a non profit designed to save the world instead.

Yeah, that is the voice that I am talking about. That really scary one.

What if you listened to your inner voice even though it goes against all your family training and the norms of society? Or what might happen if you actually DID all the little things your intuition told you to do? Stop eating sugar. Do yoga every day. Say no or yes to whomever.

You can see why this had me stopped in my tracks for a bit, head spinning, and heart beating, doing some heavy breathing. I wondered if I actually had necessary cahones for that assignment. (Or maybe brass ovaries?)

The angel beamed some sympathetic but confident energy at me and held my hand (metaphorically speaking) while I wrestled with my inner demons- fear, lack of confidence and a hint of laziness. For a minute, they had their way with me.

This experience is about further decreasing the divide between my personal self and my soul so I can close the gap. Become more en-souled then ever before. Letting my soul take over the job of driving my life EVEN MORE then I already do. (Which I thought was a lot! Sheesh…)

The angel was very clear that there were a couple of rules that go along with this whole program.

  1. No complaining. Do it or don’t do it. (Sounds like Yoda, right?)
  2. No needing to be perfect, just do my best.
  3. I will always get lots of confirmation about what I should do, so I will be clear on the path and the action to take. Mostly.
  4. I will always have what I need to accomplish what my soul is telling me to do, even if I don’t think that I do.
  5. I can’t hesitate or drag my feet too much, but must act on my guidance right away.
  6. I should share as much of this process with you all by blogging about it every week. And share more deeply and honestly then ever before. Eeek. (And probably after a year of living this way, it’s a book. Wow, cool right?)

And then, right there in the rain, in the woods on a Sunday afternoon the angel asked- Did I accept?

I did. I accepted with a sense of aliveness, wonder and humility. Not thinking about it, but rather feeling it.

And then, I felt the world move around me, as it does when big, soul level decisions are made. Somewhere up there bells rang, angelic stock markets traded up on the news, the cosmic bookies laughed or cried and office pool money exchanged hands. No doubt Fantasy People leagues moved their players around as the heavenly twitter accounts passed the word around the cosmos, I am sure.

Or not! Hehe…

They told me to start with my body. It’s already overturning the apple cart I can tell you. And I will tell you, next week. Right now, I feel excited, alive and a little trepidation too. I wonder where this crazy adventure will lead me? And I can’t wait to find out and I promise to share it with you…