Remember when sex used to be fun? Get out the Way Back Machine and see if you can remember….
Maybe it was before you got married.
Or before you had kids.
Perhaps before your job sucked the life out of you.
Remember back a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away when you were young and firm – before gravity, middle age and stress had its way with you. Back when you loved your body, and your partner and sex was the most fun you could have EVER.
Better then drugs- the best natural high.
Remember?
(Kids in your 20’s, I pray that you are still having fun with sex, but if you aren’t then we REALLY need to talk…)
Hopefully you are not crying into your double latte like I was about to, just from sheer nostalgia. Hey, when I was that young it was the 80’s and sex seemed a lot less complicated back then.
Maybe it sounds nuts, but I feel like sex and love are the glue the hold the world together. It certainly is the spark that creates life here on Planet Earth. Frankly, I am pretty sure the reason that I keep incarnating is just to keep experiencing espresso, dark chocolate, single malt scotch and really hot sex. (Ok, and LOVE too. I’ll get back in line for that one…)
Elsewhere in the world there are places that are far less uptight about sex then here in Puritan based New England. Many cultures have acknowledged that a healthy, active sex life is the key to physical and emotional well-being, and is even responsible for longevity. The Taoists have long believed that orgasms are great medicine and our energy systems get all jammed up when we are undersexed. Or heaven help us, BADLY sexed.
I asked one of my partners once about if he had ever had BAD sex. He smiled his cat-that-ate-the-cream smile and said, “Sex is like pizza. Even bad pizza is still good, it’s just not as good as really good pizza…” Ahhh, simple pleasures right? I am of a different opinion and feel like BAD sex is worse then no sex. Same with pizza. Blech.
Whether you are undersexed or badly sexed- it’s not really ok to be EITHER and do nothing about it. And it’s totally possible to have yummy sex no matter what your age, stress level or relationship status. Even no matter how cluttered your to-do list is or how much spanx you put on before you leave the house. Good sex exists to-
- To bring you pleasure and joy.
- To create love and intimacy in your partnership. That’s why it’s called making love!
- To create happy brain chemical juice in your head.
- To keep your womb or prostate happy and healthy.
- To remind you why it’s AWESOME to be alive and have a body.
- To help you grow and transform.
- And to create an opportunity to touch the divine in a sacred way.
Heart opening, toe curling, brain frying, soul searing sex is our birthright. We deserve it. We are meant for that. And when we don’t get, we get a little shriveled up. Maybe we get anxious, depressed and cranky. We feel old and dried-up. Our chi stagnates and I am pretty sure our hair falls out, wrinkles happen and perhaps parts of our body actually rust and fall off. Seriously, I have seen this happen and it’s no joke. (Ok, it’s a joke, but you know what I mean.)
If you have to blow dust and cobwebs off your sexy bits before you use them, then you might need an intervention. Gosh dang it…
And it doesn’t have to be that way! Opening up to a more juicy life is totally possible and is actually pretty fun. And when we FLOW “down there,” we flow EVERYWHERE. Our normal state of being is to be connected to this joyful, energizing, ecstatic current of energy that runs through us all the time. In the Energy Medicine Institute we call this current of life force energy the Pleasure Current. That means YOU, yes you, are plugged into the Pleasure Current 24/7.
Do you feel it? I know you have, at least sometime in your life. Maybe you feel it after a really good yoga class. Or day five into your two-week vacation. After a relaxing, drool inducing massage? Or after- you guessed it- some mind-expanding sex.
The Pleasure Current. It’s where it’s at.
The sex part of your brain is very closely wired into your limbic system. It’s the pleasure part of your nervous system, so when we get un-repressed and let our sexual energy flow freely through our whole bodies and our whole lives then EVERYTHING becomes more pleasurable. Breathing, eating, sleeping, resting, working, dancing, talking-all of life can be pleasurable and enjoyable. We are wired to feel pleasure and to move away from pain. It’s sad to me how often we feel pain instead and we are geniuses at making pleasurable things actually painful.
Because of the nature of life and our experiences here, most of us need to do some work to get to that free flowing, unrestrained, pleasure- joy place. To reconnect to the Pleasure Current, we have to clear blocks and repression. Maybe we have clean up and heal some old trauma. We have to let go of guilt, shame and repression. We need to unlearn what got us all kinked up in the first place.
But the work is sooooo worth it, and the rewards will manifest in every area of your life. Even in how you make money and your ability to work the Law of Attraction. (Stay tuned for a blog about sex and money. You block one, you block the other!)
This summer I will be teaching a six week teleclass on Your Sexual Magic and Mojo and my heartfelt goal will to be to un-repress the heck out of all of you, to reconnect you to the Pleasure Current and get you all juicy, flowy and feeling the joy of life again.
I hope you can all join me. Details to follow!
