Lately I have been struggling a bit with the concept of Divine Will versus my own will. I believe in the power of God’s will but there is a stubborn and hard ego part of me that doesn’t want to give up my personal will.
It’s the part of me that wants what I want. And I want it NOW, just the way I imagined it. It feels like a child stomping it’s foot with a bad case of the “wanties.” (I want it, I want, I want it! Waaah!)
Our ego self gets so attached to having things appear in a certain package and we are crushed when life doesn’t pan out that way.
The ego shakes it’s little fist at God and wonders why the Divine has abandoned or betrayed us.
Someone said to me the other day “God’s will always has your best interest at heart and see’s a bigger picture for you than you ever could.” (Thank you Jeremy McDonald…)
And I knew that was Truth.
In fact, Divine Will is holds a much bigger possibility for what our potential is. So much more than our ego’s small and grasping consciousness can understand.
The ego self only knows how to play small and it’s addicted to meeting the cravings of the wanties.
Divine will is vast, inclusive, growthful and SOULFUL. Divine will is inviting you to open to your life’s purpose everyday. Teasing you with intuition and dreams. Tempting you with synchronicities and sign posts.
It requires faith, strength and a lot of courage to let go of the grasping self and our addiction to our comfort zone.
Still that is my intention.
Everyday I wake up and say this prayer. “Dear God, make me an instrument of thy peace.” I don’t always know what that means, but I do know that since I have been doing that, my life is expanding. I feel less fear in the letting go parts and more curiosity about what is going to happen next.
I am working through the anxiety and restlessness I feel when I release my own will and surrender to Divine Will. It’s a practice for sure.
Here is what helps.
Prayer of Saint Francis
Lord make me an instrument of your peace
Where there is hatred let me sow love
Where there is injury, pardon
Where there is doubt, faith
Where there is despair, hope
Where there is darkness, light
And where there is sadness, joy
O divine master grant that I may
not so much seek to be consoled as to console
to be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love
For it is in giving that we receive
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned
And it’s in dying that we are born to eternal life
Amen