What’s the difference between the spiritual bypass and non-attachment?
And how do we tell the difference? There is such fine line there, right?
For me, non-attachment is still about letting myself feel all the feels, all the sorrow, rage, and compassion, feeling them deeply in the moment and letting them flow through me and out the other side.
It’s not about turning away and pretending that I don’t see someone suffering. Sometimes it’s about taking inspired action along the way too.
With non-attachment, you can care deeply without being owned or overwhelmed by what happens. Non-attachment comes from fully seeing the wonky, ever changing impermanence of things and holding life with an open hand.
We can BE with anything and everything without turning away from parts of ourselves or things that are happening in the world around us… which often shine the light very painfully on those unexplored parts of ourselves.
Spiritual bypassing is when we don’t allow ourselves to feel the outrage, shock or sorrow. We are numb to it or think it’s all just part of God’s plan or maybe even God striking down the less deserving.
We think that somehow the angels will handle it all. We can just ‘love and light’ it away. It’s a kind of escape or denial that is almost always a subconscious thing. It stems from denial, avoidance, fear, and a deep discomfort with the messier parts of life and the even messier parts of oneself.
The spirit-washing comes when we decide that everything is ‘meant to be’ and our thoughts, actions, words and deeds don’t matter, that we don’t contribute in some way to whatever we are witnessing.
Or maybe we struggle, clutch and try to control everything. We can’t figure out how to just BE with another’s suffering because we can’t be with our own.
Spiritual bypassing feels like an escape but is actually a trap, holding us into even more suffering. It’s hard to even see this when I am doing it, since it’s all happening subconsciously most of the time. It’s a squirmy feeling of wanting to turn away from whatever is making me uncomfortable and often I don’t catch myself in the act until I have stopped and come to my senses again.
Non-attachment is true freedom, from the inside out. And this allows me to be even more present to myself, others and whatever is happening in the world. It takes real courage and for me, it’s a moment by moment process that never lets up. (Can I show up in THIS moment? And now this one too???)
What are these difference like for you?
