Whenever I feel fear or anxiety in my life it’s because I am afraid the love won’t be there anymore.
If I bumble around, say the wrong thing (which I constantly do…) and hurt someone’s feelings then the love will be gone.
If there is a conflict or someone is mad at me then the love will be gone.
If I have to set a boundary, (and there is conflict and someone is mad at me…) then the love will be gone.
If we grow apart or change.
Or the conflict can’t be resolved.
Or worse yet if someone leaves, abandons, gets lost to addictions or dies then the love is irretrievably gone.
But is it?
It is love’s very nature to be eternal. It’s the purest form of energy there is. It is never lost, it’s what the fabric of space and time are made of. When the heart truly loves, it is forever. It is only the ego self that is trapped here in the time stream that experiences loss and separation.
Our soul selves are always connected -no matter what.
And yet, the ego self truly does experience loss and separation and it sucks. It sucks so bad- it’s the worst pain there is. And there is no running away from it, no finding a place where change doesn’t happen. The surface nature of our relationships change all the time. People come and go. Relationships morph or end and people pass on. Our feelings, needs and commitments are in constant motion, continual evolution. Change is also a universal constant.
Sometimes it’s so hard being a little human, stuck in the time stream and so vulnerable to grief. (And yet the on the flip side we get to experience the joy of love- you can’t have grief without love…)
We can count on things changing- always.
And love being eternal- always.
I find that a comfort. It helps to ease the grief we feel when things change and we suffer with the illusion that love is gone forever. I think if I could truly know that all the way down to my cells, my DNA, I wouldn’t fear anything anymore.
