When I was younger, I felt I had to hide my vulnerability, mask my soft heartedness with a kind of “I don’t care” bravado. I remember forcing myself not to cry at the movies or anywhere in public. I used to hold my breath and tighten up everything in an attempt not to be moved by the pain and suffering of humanity. I would walk by the homeless person, tears held in and angry at them for sparking such unwanted compassion in me.
Oh dear, what a mixed up set of priorities I had back then. To give myself credit, much of it came from feeling overwhelmed – knocked over by the amount of love I felt at the drop of a hat. Ridiculed by others for actually caring, and afraid that my soft heartedness would be seen as weakness. The kind of weakness that attracts predators.
At this stage of my life, I have put the bravado down and let my heart bloom open in all its raw glory. It’s like taking off a girdle that is way too tight and letting myself breathe, letting my soft, squishy heart bleed freely on my sleeve.
As it was meant to.
I am a healer and I would be a lousy one if I didn’t feel compassion and empathy in the face of another’s suffering. I am grateful that I am strong enough to really own it now. I don’t care what other people think, and I am not afraid of those who might take advantage of my kind nature. (Well… most of the time…)
I already know how resilient and strong my heart truly is.
I know that love is actually the most powerful force in the world and that compassion transmutes suffering on the spot.
It’s ok to love that much and wear your heart on your sleeve.
It’s ok to be that open. The world actually needs it.
Your vulnerably is your greatest strength. The meek shall inherit the earth, remember?
Try it, you will see.
