Dang, I was watching that show on Netflix called “Ultimatum” and it made me so sad about how unequipped and unskilled we are all in relationships.
If you are in a relationship with a person who is actually good to you, and still think about running, it’s your nervous system in fight or flight. So many of us have unresolved trauma in our relationships (going back to our childhood and family relationships…) so when we get triggered we have the impulse to fight or run away.
Doing your inner work to come out of that trauma is key and it’s super powerful work to do. You might not even know what your partner is actually like until you clear your own trauma.
So often we project all that unresolved stuff on our partner (THEY are the problem, obvi…) when there is actually an opportunity to own it and clear it. Not that we need to put up with that level of shenanigans and unconsciousness… yikes. But we sure do need to own our level of it and do something about it.
I know it’s a TV show where the drama is all exaggerated and stuff, but I couldn’t help thinking it also was a real slice of life.
I was longing to bring a team of therapist and healers into that show to teach them to actually listen to each other, talk about their feelings, work through the past and get some skills.
I want to see THAT show.